A letter to Dorian

You are to me the tickling breath upon my neck

The powder-soft feel of my inner thighs

On a cool rainy day

I close my eyes and your essence fills me

Sparks exploding where your hands,

Lips, and other tips have surveyed

Let it not be said

That what you give is pleasure

The hardening of my nipples

My lips dripping with dew

My body shivering from the torture that is you

All reveal that it is pure magic

 

Smile for me once more

Let me learn the sight and feel of your lips

My entire body blushes

As your eyes bore through my soul

Even as you bare it all

Your heart

Your mind

Your wisdom

I still see the man

Strong

Determined

Daring

 

Wrap your arms around me

So that I can absorb all that is you

Love me hard and deep

So I feel you even in your absence

Let my body never forget

Your claim

Your mark upon my soul

 

Tattoo my heart

So that even as it wanders

Exploring the world

It will always come back to you

 

 

What are we?

I want to share my heart with you
But you have relegated me
Mid-way between friend and lover
I hang here, unbalanced
Not knowing
Uncertain
Afraid to ask
What is the job description for this role?
Can I say I love you?
Is that allowed?
I am enveloped
My heart pressing outward
Threatening a cataclysmic explosion
I will myself to hold it in
Hands fisting
Palms bleeding
Eyes leaking
Evidence of the pain
Of the fractures
I silently beg for an end
Tell me now
What are we?

Need

Need,

barring pain

anger,

one of the most intense emotions

The effects,

starting first in the mind

absorbing the pulsations,

pure electric currents,

coursing first,

through the chest,

then down to the stomach,

generating billions and billions of butterflies.

skin comes alive;

tingling,

sensitive;

tremors destabilizing

normalcy

it hits

like a double-decker bus,

it hits

smack in the depths of that place,

that special place,

where gushing causes the eyes to roll back,

breath to catch,

knees to go weak,

heart to skip a beat

Kissing you

 

as a teenager,

I heard a lot about kissing,

how to make it meaningful,

how to do it well…

I was told that you should kiss with your eyes closed

to make it more special;

it meant that you really,

really liked the person you were kissing.

I tried it for a while,

but I’m a curious kitten;

I want to see,

the expression;

I want to see you

That you’re as lost in me

as I am in you.

But  I’ve found something special

in closing my eyes

When I kiss you,

all the times I’ve kissed you,

I’ve had to keep my eyes closed,

to trap the tears that threatened to betray my true feelings,

that threatened to show you

how  much I love you.

 

When we kiss

When we kiss

My heart threatens to abandon my chest

Choking

Tightening

Stifling pain

Sears through me

My eyes fill

Tears threatening

Betraying

What I work so hard to hide

 

Eyes shut tight

Willing the tears back in

Sucking up the pain

Easing back

The words

Eager to escape my lips

 

I hope

That you don’t know

Would you think me weak?

It is enough

That I tremble at your touch

You need no more ammunition

 

I don’t fantasize about you

I never make it that far

The very thought of you

Shreds my sanity

Depletes the core of me

Stunned

I simply ride it out

 

Curled up in a ball

I squeeze it back in

Tighter

Tighter

Forcing it away

The tears

The pain

The words

 

I love you

I love you so much it hurts

 

Little things that touch my heart – Part 1

Last Christmas I got to hang out with my Dad. He’s the coolest Dad ever. He had no hand in raising me, so he’s still a little shy. I do my best to show him that I understand. We have a lot in common – generally very quiet, don’t mind solitude, dedicated to independence, haven’t quite got the hang of compromise…lol!

Once when we were going out, he had on this really cool jacket-type thing. Made him look years younger and so cool. I told him so…he laughed. Yeah…I inherited that too.

He’s a workaholic so Christmas is not an ideal time for him. However, the following day he came and handed me a jacket just like the one he had – in one of my favorite colors – Turquoise. I gushed. I was so touched that he even took note…I cried…not in front of him of course…lol! It was such a small gesture, but taking into consideration the gap in our relationship….I dare not neglect the little things.