Anally Yours

I’m not a social animal
I have numerous dislikes

Can’t stand the sound of slurping
Or bone-chewing or bites

I keep a tidy boudoir
I clean from floor to floor

And ten seconds after a visitor leaves
I tend to clean some more

I no longer like clubs and parties
Not because they are too loud

There are too many people
Spreading germs within the crowd

I don’t mind a little company
As long as they don’t stay

Unless it’s dinner and a movie
Guests only have one hour to go away

I like to have things done, in a certain way
I will not make a fuss if someone causes disarray

But when the person visits
A second time or more

I will certainly not allow them
To share, or serve, or pour

I manage conversation
With much dignity and flare

But for long, monotonous, nonsensical verse
I certainly do not care

I love my bed so dearly
I toss and turn and flay

So I’ll certainly won’t appreciate
Any boulders in my way

My phone has many numbers
A list from A to Z

But in exchanging them
I warn, “You won’t get any calls from me.”

I love working on the computer
I love reading giant books

I love writing prose and music
I love curling up in nooks

I love singing
I love cleaning
I love stretching on my bed

I love hiking
I love walking
But I’ll look at the pictures instead

It’s amazing the great feeling
Of doing what you do

Without anyone over your shoulder
Wanting to know what’s new

All my favourites
All my enjoyments

All the things I love to do

Seems to need no interloper,
Seems to need no other ‘you’